Relationships: Finding Love Later in Life

Relationships are the threads that weave the fabric of life.  Family relationships.  Friendships.  Work relationships.  Team relationships.  Love relationships.  Relationships impact us from birth to death.  And, our spiritual relationship with God is eternal.  We will explore relationships of many kinds and in many forms in The Heart’s Way, Imagery and Insights.  

Finding love later in life

For now, we will take a look at “Finding Love Later in Life.”  This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart…and to the hearts of many other people!  As a woman who married for the first time later in life, I can testify that this type of relationship has some unique characteristics!  And, as it is with every other kind of relationship, finding love later in life requires work, perseverance, communication, patience, nurturing, and a sense of humor!  Case in point:  when my husband and I were contemplating marriage we did not have conversations about having children or finding careers.  Instead, we focused on planning for our retirements!  Pretty unconventional you may say?  Well, although it is rather funny, it was a reality of our relationship.  And, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was/is a topic of conversation for many of you who are finding love in later life!

The images of a marriage evoke a lifetime of memories

Before I go any further, let me first give a heartfelt thank you to my friend and former counseling coworker, Julie Gordon for the wonderful photos in this post.  Julie was the photographer for our 2012 family reunion themed wedding.  For more information about her photography, please visit her on Facebook at J Gordon Photography.

Marriage is God-blessed

Now, fast forward to present day.  In just a few short days from now, my husband and I will be celebrating our nine year anniversary.  My goodness how time truly does fly!  What have I learned?  I have learned that marriage is difficult, that it continually challenges us, and that despite it all, it is well worth it.  First, remember that marriage is a relationship that is God-blessed.  God created us to be in relationship with each other, but perhaps more importantly, He created marriage for us to be in relationship with Him.  Marriage is a way we can honor God through our relationship with our spouses.  I am blessed to be in a marriage where my husband believes in this as much as I do.  But, we are human; we are fallible and we come together in marriages as broken people.  This is perhaps more evident when couples marry later in life.

The realities of marrying later in life

When I came into my marriage, I had previously lived a single life.  Although I was lonely, I was also very accustomed to having and doing things my way.  I could eat and sleep when I chose.  I made most of my decisions independently.  I certainly had quite a few habits or routines that were very comfortable and fit my lifestyle.  Habits that I thought were reasonable enough…but may be disputed by others!  Living alone, I had my own things and kept them where I wanted.  Enter my husband, who came into the marriage with his own beliefs, history, patterns of behavior, and ways of thinking; many of which were totally different from mine!  As a result, I’ve learned that marriage requires a broader perspective, to include someone else…to consider his thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

Communication in marriage can never be underestimated

The growing side of this is that I have learned there is an undeniable need for cooperation and compromise.  Lots of cooperation and compromise.  Marriage demands flexibility…which is somewhat difficult for someone who was used to doing things her way for the majority of her adult years!  Marriage seeks out those who can listen, be patient and thoughtful.  Communication in marriage can never be underestimated.  I’ve had more conversations with my husband about communication itself than I ever thought was possible!  But, for marriage to work, each person must desire to put forth the effort needed to make it work.  And when it works, it is beautiful.  It is peaceful.  It is God-blessed.

No matter what age or circumstance, some truths remain

No matter what age or circumstance, some truths remain:  Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)

 Note: This blog post was originally published by the Heart’s Way, Imagery and Insights in 2015. It has since been updated. This post contains a nonaffiliate link to additional resources (highlighted in blue above).